5am

I was jolted awake this morning at 5am
by the memory of you.

I stared into the darkness until sunrise
wondering how long this will continue.

Wondering how long your image will haunt me in my dreams.

I've been trying to polish off the finger prints you left on my heart
and I've started to forget what it felt like to enjoy silence with you.

While you're lying warm and content in the arms of a lover,
and sharing a love and a passion with a girl I've only ever seen in pictures...

I tell myself that I never cross your mind anymore
and realize how pathetic it is that that realization makes me sad.

"I realize I require my solitude"
"I don't want it"

I wish I didn't have the ability to speak your language.
I wish I didn't understand what those words really meant.

And the nights I am jolted awake at 5am by images of you smiling at me...

I wish I had never met you.