A Voice

I've decided to own this.
Own the emotions and make them my own
I've allowed myself to be turned into a victim.

I am not a victim.

Growing up I never expected anything from you.
But you gave things to me anyway...
"you're a whore", "completely worthless"
purple bruises on my face
a distorted sense of "self".

At least I can't say you never gave me anything.

"What did your father ever do for you other than die?",
you once asked me.

I didn't have an answer back then....I was too blinded
by my pain and I couldn't see through it.

He gave me a voice.

He gave me a voice.

A friend asked me if I could ever forgive you.
The real question is....
Can I ever forgive myself?

I've allowed myself to walk through each day
with doubt, sadness and anger.

I've allowed myself to become a victim. Your victim.

Now I've decided to own this.