Dear Lord

Where are you Dear Lord?

The hateful cries from all the angry people
above and below and around me
have become so loud that
I can barely hear your voice
these days.

Tell Me

Tell me I'm a flower.

That I'm still a seed not yet finished growing
destined someday soon to blossom into shades
of purple and blue.

Tell me I'm a bird.

And though I spin in circles fluttering my wings
at any minute I shall take flight and fly above the clouds
diving up and around.

Tell me I'm a raindrop.

Filled to the brim drenched with goodness and compassion
and in just a moment I will come pouring down to the earth
washing everything away.

And tell me that I'm good.

Even when I'm weak and I'm mean and I'm angry
that one day soon all of this will pass and I'll finally be a girl
worthy of your love.

Windshield

I saw your eyes
in the rain drops
on my windshield
tonight.

Gentle and soft.

"You can still be innocent"

they told me
before they were swept away
by my wipers.

Monster

Look at her smiling.

Standing in the mirror
staring lovingly at her reflection.

This girl.

Dressing up her self worth in a cute pair of jeans
a tank top and a pink ribbon.

Reduced to wondering if she's
"hot or not"

not.

If only someone would tell her that
self respect isn't included with her botox injections.

You can't buy integrity for 4 easy payments of $19.99

And no amount of makeup will cover the
monster that seeps out of her eyes.

Perhaps she wouldn't be smiling.

Lollipops (A Continuation)

You love the way she tastes
like chocolate powdered sugar
she glides into empty spaces

She speaks in cotton candy clouds
each breath like magic
love,
lust.

I tried to warn you but
you couldn't hear past the bubblegum
covering your ears, so concerned
with the sticky sweetness of her
"I love you's"

And me,
I couldn't compete
with my callous personality
And her
in all her powder pink transience.

You only opened me for a chance
to gratify your hunger and
went away unsatisfied.

You'd rather live on lollipops.

Today

Today I am liberated.

And I walk around in bare feet
and smile at strangers
and wrap my skirt around my legs
and pretend to be a tree stump
and I write the word "muffin" on a post-it
and trace over it again and again with a red pen
and I put a flower in my hair
and jump on all the cracks in the sidewalk
and I love.

Today I am someone a little more like myself.

Consumed

You were always so angry.

You'd grab me and
scream how much you loved me...
how much you wanted me

Why couldn't I see?
You would ask.

So angry at me for not needing you.

And in the same breathe
you would kiss me desperately
and hold me against the wall
trying to convince me with your body

I am yours
I would say.

And watch eagerly as your anger
turned to perversion and
consumed me in
one giant
piece.

Strawberries

While you are away
I pass the lonely nights
lying flat on my bedroom floor
draped in your t-shirt
savoring the taste
of bitter sweet strawberries
reminding my tongue
what your mouth tasted like
the last lonely night
you were with me.